Grans Not

To be or not to be….was never the question.

Did I want to be a grandmother or not? To be honest, I never gave it much thought, it wasn’t important to me.

My son, always an adventurous sort, never expressed a desire for kids, seemingly far too busy snowboarding or planning his next helicopter jump, to have time to give it much thought.

He met and married a wonderful girl and they began to plan their lives together.

Rented flat, definitely no house purchase, quick and easy to pack up and move when opportunities arose.

Saving, money needed for a motor bike for road trips to various parts of the world, plus long list of places to visit.

Minimum of belongings, no clutter.

And babies, absolutely not. Why would we?

And then began an aspect of life I had never envisaged. People asking how my son and his wife were and had they any babies yet? When I answered in the negative their replies, ‘Plenty of time yet.’ or ‘That must be difficult for you.’ or my favourite, the kindly meant,’ Well you can always borrow mine.’

What is it about this subject that makes so many people feel the need to commiserate with me? I see the happiness and delight that grandchildren bring but I really do not feel deprived or unfulfilled without it.

I get great delight in seeing my ‘little family’ off on another adventure to the far reaches of the earth. I love to hear their stories and see their photos and I rejoice that they are living their lives to the full in their own way.

I have brought up my son and sent him off into the world as best prepared as I could.

My own Dad used to say, ‘Give your kids a nest and wings and stand back.’ This I have tried to do and now I am enjoying my retirement, doing what I want, when I want, when Covid allows!

When I was on a cruise last year I met a a lady who told me that she spent several months a year cruising, ‘So I don’t get dragged into having to look after my grandchildren.’

So, to those of you who really enjoy your beloved grandchildren, I say, ‘I am happy for you but please don’t assume that not having grandchildren is a tragedy. It isn’t, it really really isn’t.’

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Lifting the lid on not-mum lives and having a peek inside

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