Mandy Mo

MandyI’m not a mum, I’m an artist and a teacher and I’ve had a persistent migraine aura for the last 10 days. I’m 55 going on 56 with burning mouth syndrome and a touch of arthritis.

So now that’s out of the way, I can tell you dear reader that I’m treating myself to an M&S sugar-free strawberries and cream sweet, which thrills me to bits – they’re always a highlight. In an attempt to live a healthier lifestyle, I’m sipping down some lemon and ginger tea. As a rule, I try to avoid herbal teas but apparently ginger is good for headaches. ‘Just take some Ibruprofen’ I hear you say, but I’m not good with it, it makes me white-out and faint. I met Dave Gilmour from Pink Floyd once and he had the same effect. I have some teabags with positive messages on the little labels, these messages are normally soggy however, as who does remember to hold on to the bloomin’ label when you pour on the boiling water? I have a mug that says ‘Fuck it’ on it which makes me feel good. 

My life didn’t go to plan, I wish someone had told me it probably wouldn’t, as now I wouldn’t be attempting to have cold showers so that one day I’ll be able to go wild water swimming to cure my menopausal malaise. Surely I can find some other way to hunt down those elusive endorphins? I do meditate, however; It’s the glue that keeps my day together and keeps my wobbly wheels from falling off. If I could recommend anything in life it would be meditation, well, that and hugging trees really. I’m nostalgic for the sylvan days of my childhood and hopeful for a pain free future. I try to listen to the wisdom of my higher self; lately it’s been sounding a bit like Louis Theroux, as I’ve just binged his Grounded podcasts, and it’s asking me some very personal questions.

Not being a mum is okay, I didn’t choose it but that’s the way the cookie crumbled for me. I’m not making light of it, but I have got through it and out the other side. I would have liked to have been a grandma but that ain’t gonna happen. I worry slightly about who will look after me when I get old. I hope I get old, then I’ll go around filling up the holes in golf courses with turf and no-one will suspect me as I’d probably look like quite a sweet old lady, but most probably I’ll end up more like one of the spindly old sisters in the film Belleville Rendezvous, eating frogs on sticks and take up playing the washboard.

Namaste friends, wishing you a world full of love and light. And remember ‘If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely’. – Roald Dahl

About the author

Lifting the lid on not-mum lives and having a peek inside


  1. Mandy is the most caring and fun person you could wish to know and I am so blessed to have her in my life. We went to school together, life then took us our separate ways, neither of us had the baby boom 👊, so we’re both mums-not! although I am a mum to a very cuddly cockerpoo. We then found our paths cross again, thanks to a rolling apple 🍏 in the co-op, and the rest is history (as they say). Thank you who ever rolled the apple 🍏🙏 xx

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